The Quarter Life Crisis.

QLC.

Apparently, this is happening all over the place right now.  A couple of thousand twenty-somethings are having nervous, I-feel-40-what-am-I-doing-with-my-life, breakdowns on the regular. The tragedy being, they think they’re totally alone in this forest of heartache, with no way out and no hope of finding ‘the path’ that will lead them to their true destiny. You’re not alone folks – far from it!

What can we do about it? Well, nothing. Actually. These twenty-somethings are worrying about their lessening time, their prospective wrinkles and the idea that they may be in this job that struggles to pay the rent, for the rest of their wrinkly/alcohol riddled lives. How do I know this I hear you ask? I’m going through it myself and it sucks major ass. The problem is definitely other people. With their successful lives and their top-notch London apartments, that they live fancy, cocktail leaden, lives in. You’re nodding politely as they tell you all about the crazy weekend they just had in Miami while you think of ways to escape, so that you can dull your thoughts with £5 corner shop wine, in your onesie, while you watch reruns of Friends on Netflix. They have hot jobs, hot bodies, hot boyfriends and you hate them.

So let’s look at this crisis. You hate your job – why? It pays nothing, it has no benefits and your boss is a bit of a witch. Or a massive one, whatever. You have to EBay all of your clothes to pay for a winter coat and you have to skip lunch so you can afford the wine you’ll need later on, and it’s only Monday. Your love life is as dull as the perpetual salary discussions… okay, well, not a lot we can say there. Tinder is like descending the steps to a slow and painful death, and we all know you signed up for the Elite dating site and got rejected, everyone did (we hope).

Only last week a friend cried on my lap about a recent job move, that she hated, and wished she’d never made. It was supposed to be a step up but it turned into nothing more than an awful experience. The boss was awful, the department unruly and she was losing money by having to commute into work. All-in-all, not what she’d had in mind.

So other than single handily solving the rising housing prices, homelessness and your professional career in moaning, what can we do about the never-ending impending doom we all feel? It isn’t really the ‘other people’s’ fault, is it? In short my little flowers, no, it isn’t the rich kids faults (maybe we can lay some blame on the economy?) The only way to truly beat the quarter life crisis is to work slowly through it and try not to upset your delicately balanced life of booze and Netflix. Really figuring out some life-goals is the most important way to start. Understanding yourself and where you’re going, what you would like to experience in life, and, if you were 20 years on from now, would you be happy in your current job/industry?

These questions are so important when moving forward, in order to make sure that every move IS forward, and not sideways or (gasp!) backwards. I’m calling all twenty-somethings to really shout from the rooftops that making bad decisions is okay and not knowing your next move is also okay! We can do it chums, we can be happy and we can do it without needing Mummy and Daddy to finance that Miami trip next weekend…

Undercover Londoner | Public Transport

Perhaps the most important thing to master in London is the art of transporting oneself across the city. British public transport my friends, is a fiendish ghoul that you must learn to conquer before you may embark on your mission to become a true “Londoner”.

Here are the imperative rules for navigating the tube…

  1. Oyster Cards: You should obtain one of these little buggers as soon as your feet shuffle into the London postcode. It will save you money full stop AND you can swipe (glide) through the barriers effortlessly making you look suave and sassy all in one.
  2. Boarding: Never board before passengers have departed. Just don’t. Someone will punch you. Okay, they won’t, but being British these passengers will give you the death-stare from hell and all of the huffing noises until you physically leave their presence.
  3. Seating arrangements. You may sit if there are free spaces. You must not lean over people until you scare them into giving up a seat. You must always give up your seat for pregnant women/the older generation/people with broken limbs… the list is endless. Always double check that the pregnant women you are giving your seat up for are actually pregnant or this could be problematic. They should depict their impending motherhood with a jaunty badge that says ‘baby on board’…. TFL are hugely proud of this pun I imagine.
  4. Suitcases: Okay people. NO SUITCASES IN RUSH HOUR WHEN SLEEPY HUMAN BEINGS ARE TRYING TO GET TO WORK ON TIME AND THEY DID NOT GET THEIR MORNING COFFEE BECAUSE THEY ARE RUNNING LATE DUE TO LACK OF SLEEP. ‘nuff said.
  5. Tube Maps: This one is simple; never, ever, carry a tube map if you value your possessions or indeed your health. If you look like a stupid tourist, you will be treated like a stupid tourist. Your things will promptly be whipped from your camera carrying, waterproof clad, visor wearing body faster than you can say, ‘I do actually live here….’ If you need to plan a journey, do so before you leave. Or should you like to be worth your salt as a future-Londoner you will download the handy app entitled ‘city-mapper’, which does basically what it says on the tin.
  6. Food: A basic no-go should this food smell/look any colour that is not bland/make other hungry commuters grouchy. You will not be happy when they barge you out of the way later down the line when you are in their path to food…
  7. Phone-calls: Loud, obnoxious telephone conversations about your totally buff weekend just won’t cut the mustard with the several hundred commuters you are sharing your journey home with. Cue more death stares, possibly some tutting and a lot of judgement.

I hope these guidelines can make your journeys more comfortable and make you less likely to recieve death-stares on your way to work.

Happy tubing!

x

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